


Life is an ocean and I’m fucking drowning (Could you teach me how to swim before it’s too late?)

by Kiki_Kat



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Adorable Okumura Rin, Anorexia, Anti Incest, As i deal with BULLSHIT from ppl school and life in general, Attempted Sexual Assault, Author Is Sleep Deprived, BAMF Okumura Rin, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Bulimia, Depressed Okumura Rin, Depression, Don't Like Don't Read, Dont worey good things keep me busy too lol, Dork Okumura Rin, Eventual Fluff, Family Drama, Gen, Good Sibling Okumura Yukio, Hospitals, Hurt Okumura Rin, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I get rlly sad when the twins fight, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, If you’re looking for Okumuracest look elsewhere, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Life’s a bitch, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, No Twincest, Okumura Rin Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poor Okumura Rin, Protective Okumura Yukio, Protective Rin, References to Depression, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Sensitive themes, Sleep Deprivation, Slow To Update, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Twin bonds, What Was I Thinking?, Worried Yukio Okumura, but he loves his brother, deep topics, ewwwww, he just bad at showing it, oh well, only read if you accept author taking long as HELL to update, other than that pls enjoy!, twin angst, twin fluff, whatcha gonna do, yukio is a good brother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25368031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiki_Kat/pseuds/Kiki_Kat
Summary: Monster.Demon.That’s all Rin ever was.He was happy at one time, but that was until his “friends” became afraid of him and his brother hated him.Only more pain would come, and Rin knew there was only one way to prevent that from happening.(WARNING; Deep, sensitive  themes such as Suicide, self-harm, etc etc.  Read at your own risk and don’t say I didn’t warn if you’re sensitive to such.)*NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE NUMBER; 1-800-273-8255*
Relationships: Kamiki Izumo & Okumura Rin, Miwa Konekomaru & Okumura Rin, Moriyama Shiemi & Okumura Rin, Okumura Rin & Okumura Yukio, Okumura Rin & Shima Renzou, Okumura Rin & Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Comments: 45
Kudos: 411





	1. I’m not okay, I’m just good at pretending I am (So it’s really your own fault if you fall for it)

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing homework?” 

Rin groaned, pressing his face deeper into his pillow. 

He had felt shitty the entire day.

_ ”Rin.” _ A firm grab at his shoulder. “Get up.”   


The demon boy sighed, gradually sitting up. It felt like the action was done in slow motion.   
  


He looked at his twin who stood at his bed and yawned, scratching at his head.   
  


“C’mon, Yukio,” he whined. “Gimme a break.”   
  


Yukio glared at him, brow twitching. “You put the entire team—and yourself—in danger, and you want me to _give you a break_?”   
  


Rin flinched at his brother’s icy cold tone.   
  


The fact that he was one hundred percent right only made the whole situation worse.   
  


The other night they got summoned to go on a mission.   
  


Yukio was very firm on how they should stick together and how none of them should jump in recklessly, especially without consulting the others first.   
  


So much for that.   
  


Rin had only meant to protect Shiemi.   
  


The demon had grabbed hold of her and had an advantage over all of them, and Rin had no idea what to do.   
  


He did his best to control his flames when he attacked, but of course they had a mind of their own.   
  


The teen jumped in recklessly—the exact thing his brother warned them not to do—and the whole team almost died at the hand of his powers because of it.   
  


Including his little brother. 

The reckless stunt he had pulled resulted in his “friends” becoming afraid of him.   
  


Today when he saw them, they all gave him frightened grimaces and looked away the minute his eyes met theirs.   
  


All except for Bon.   
  


He held a heated glower at Rin until the demon boy looked away in shame, most likely kept it even then.   
  


Yukio had to fill out a report for the incident, and had been tied up at the office ever since.   
  


It wasn’t until recently he had gotten home, and Rin could only assume it only pissed his twin off more to see him sleeping.   
  


He hung his head low in shame, dry-gulping.   
  


Could he not do anything right?   
  


Apparently not.   
  


“Do you have _any_ idea of what kind of position you’ve put me in?” Yukio practically growled, clenching his fists in anger. “When they pulled me in, do you know what they wanted to do? _Kill you_ , and you’re _lucky_ I managed to get them to re-consider your punishment.”   
  


“What did they say?” Rin rasped, almost afraid to find out.   
  


Yukio let out an angry groan, rubbing his temples. “You’re not allowed in school for two months, not only that you’re not allowed on _campus_ in general. They’re afraid you might harm passing students, and knowing _you_ I can’t blame them. It’s also highly recommended for safety reasons that you rarely to never go out in public for at least two months as well.”   
  


Rin swallowed hard, looking up at his brother. “Is everyone okay?”   
  


The younger boy glanced at his watch. “That’s what I’m gonna find out in fifteen minutes. Other than being _physically_ okay, I doubt it.”

The Exwire looked back down. “They all hate me now, Yukio...” he murmured.   
  


“Can you blame them? You put their lives at risk, Rin.”   
  


Said boy blinked back tears that gathered in his eyes. “I—I was only trying to help....” 

“ _Help_?” Yukio repeated incredously before scoffing. “If you really wanted to help you wouldn’t have acted so foolishly—how could you be so stupid? You could have _died_ , Rin, do you understand that? No, I guess you don’t. You didn’t even bother checking with me or the rest of the team. That wasn’t _helping_ , that was nearly costing everyone’s lives.”   
  


“I was trying to protect Shiemi!” Rin exclaimed in frustration.   
  


Yukio merely shook his head, scowling. “I don’t care, Rin. What you did last night was stupid and reckless. That’s the type of behavior that gets Exorcists killed on the field. That’ll probably be you one day, a dead body on the battlefield because it’s _obviously_ _impossible_ for you to use your head. _If_ you even become an Exorcist. Even _that_ seems impossible at this point.”   
  


“That’s not true!” Rin protested. “I _want_ to become an Exorcist—“ 

“No, you really _don’t_!” Yukio snapped angrily, startling his twin. “You _say_ that, but you’ve got _nothing_ to show for it! You don’t study, you never come to me for help, you _always_ fall asleep during class! You never put in _nearly_ as much work as everyone else does! And they do so because unlike you they _care_! They want to put in the effort! And they do! You only struggle because you _want_ to struggle!”   
  


Yukio paused to catch his breath before continuing, eyes hardening. “And I’m _done_. I’ve _tried_ to help you. Tried to get you to study, but all you’ve proven to me is how much you don’t care if you pass or flunk. Not just my class, but your others as well. And since that truly _is_ the case, I have nothing else to say to you.”   
  


The Exorcist turned on his heel and walked away from the latter who gazed at the floor, dark fringe hiding his eyes.   
  


Yukio opened the door and paused, calling over his shoulder. “If what happened last night ever happens again, then there will be no other choice than to kill you. And _I’ll_ be the one to do it.”   
  


Rin silently choked at the punch to the gut that fell out of his brother’s mouth.   
  


He felt numb as he heard Yukio add, “Don’t wait up for me at dinner” coldly before shutting the door curtly.   
  


He sat in the silence for what felt like forever as his brother’s words slowly soaked in.   
  


Rin’s friends, or more like ex-friends now were afraid of him.   
  


_“Can you blame them?”_ His brother’s words echoed in his mind. 

No.   
  


He really couldn’t.   
  


Because in so many ways, he was afraid of himself.   
  


Ever since his awakening a part of him was always scared of hurting his baby brother, or even worse _killing_ him.   
  


And he had that same fear with his classmates.   
  


He supposed it was for the best.   
  


He was a monster after all.   
  


On that note, he felt a sudden urge. A _need_.   
  


Before he knew what he was doing, he was standing up and his feet were carrying him out of the room.   
  


He ended up in the kitchen where he rummaged through each of the drawers until he finally found what he was looking for.   
  


Rin pulled out a knife with an extra sharp edge. He gave an empty grin at it.   
  


This would work just fine.   
  


Rin then carried himself to the bathroom where he made sure to lock the door behind him before sitting down.   
  


He cautiously pulled up his sleeve, then pressed the edge down against his wrist.   
  


Swallowed, and pushed.   
  


He instantly flinched at the pain that shot through him as red warmth ran down his arm, but his mind demanded more.   
  


Rin happily obliged. He continued until he began to feel a heavy, looming exhaustion and decided that it was enough for now.   
  


He was so tired that he contemplated not cleaning up, but figured dry blood would look too suspicious.   
  


After drying the blood and cleaning his knife, he trotted back to his and Yukio’s room.   
  


Rin didn’t have the energy to overthink searching for a hiding spot for his knife, so he quickly lifted up his mattress, hid the weapon and set it back down.   
  


Perfect. No one would ever know.   
  


His eyes drooped and his vision tunneled, causing the teen to literally collapse into his bed where sleep quickly consumed him. 


	2. I’m hiding what I’m feeling but I’m tired of holding this inside my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We figured you’d know....what happened to Okumura?” 
> 
> Yukio’s expression soured.

“Where’s Okumura?”   
  


Bon nearly spit in disgust at the very mention of the demon boy’s name as the question left Konekomaru’s mouth.   
  


Instead he scoffed as he shifted in his chair, folding his arms across his chest, “Don’t know, don’t care. Who gives a shit? Whatever comes his way, he deserves it. He nearly got us killed!”   
  


Shiemi rubbed her arm unconsciously. “I’ve never seen him get like that before....” 

Bon made a ‘tsk’ noise before replying, “What else can you expect from the spawn of Satan?”   
  


“You’re doing okay though, right?” Shima asked. “Shiemi?”   
  


“Y—Yes.” Came the quiet, distant reply. “It just scared me, that’s all.”   
  


“That jackass...” Bon grumbled.   
  


The class went silent at the sound of the door opening, and they turned to be greeted with the sight of Yukio walking in, if they weren’t mistaken a little trudgingly.   
  


“Good morning everyone,” he greeted.   
  


“Morning.” The class choursed in response.   
  


As the teenage teacher got set up, Konekomaru raised his hand.   
  


“Um...may I ask something?” he uttered quietly.   
  


“Yes, Konekomaru? What is it?” Yukio riposted with a small smile.   
  


“So....I figured you’d know...what happened to Okumura?”   
  


Bon growled slightly, “As much as that kid’s a pain in the ass...I’m kinda curious too. What _did_ they decide to do to him, Teach?”   
  


Yukio’s smile fell.   
  


Expression darkening, he leaned against the front of the desk that he stood in front of.   
  


Sighing heavily, he adjusted his glasses.   
  


“As you all know,” he began. “My brother was incredibly reckless and foolish the other night. It put everyone, including himself at risk. As punishment for his lack of self-control, he’s suspended for two months and he’s _highly_ reccomended that he doesn’t go out anywhere for safety reasons. So he won’t be in class for a while.”   
  


“Good riddance.” Bon muttered as Yukio turned without another word and finished setting up.   
  


Shiemi frowned solemnly, rubbing at her arm.   
  


“Now, about that assignment from Monday....” 

Class went on smoothly from there.   
  


Nothing else was said about Rin.   
  


Or at least, not from what Shiemi could hear.   
  


Before she knew it, the bell rang dismissing Shiemi and her classmates.   
  


“Don’t forget to do the homework tonight.” Yukio announced as everyone rose from their seats and down the aisles.   
  


Shiemi swallowed as she herself rose, and approached her teacher.   
  


“Um, Yuki?” She asked quietly.   
  


Said teen looked up from the pile of papers on his desk, before throwing her a friendly smile.   
  


“Oh. Hello, Shiemi.” He greeted. “What can I do for you?”   
  


“A—Actually Yuki...I need to talk to you. It’s....It’s about....Rin.”   
  


“Rin?” A small pause. “What _about_ my brother? Did he still manage to do something under what’s basically house arrest? The idiot....” 

“No, No!” Shiemi quickly assured at seeing Yukio’s quickly growing frustrated expression. “It’s nothing like that, Yuki. It’s something else.”   
  


“Ah.” Yukio’s tense shoulders relaxed _slightly_ , expression softening once again. “Then what is it?”   
  


“Well...” Shiemi twiddled her thumbs absentmindedly. “I was wondering...could I see him by chance?”   
  


Yukio’s eyes widened, startled.   
  


Unfortunately for them, Bon and the others who were waiting for Shiemi by the doorway overheard their conversation.   
  


“Are you crazy!?” Bon exclaimed in frustration and shock as he stomped over to the girl. “Shiemi, he nearly got us killed last night! Fucking hell— _killed_!”   
  


“Y—Yes, I know,” Shiemi stammered timidly. “But I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”   
  


“ _Didn’t mean it_?? He’s the spawn of Satan! How could he _not_ mean it!? And even if that were the case, that doesn’t matter! You should not be going to see a _freak_ like that guy!!”

”B—But—“ 

“I—I have to agree with Bon,” Konekomaru spoke up. “I really don’t think you should go. What if he loses it and you get hurt?”   
  


“ _Exactly_! You just can’t go.”   
  


“But I just—“

A loud slam startled all of them, and they looked to see a pile of books hitting the desk was the source.   
  


“Alright that’s _enough_ ,” Yukio demanded sternly. “While your concern is completely understandable, this is a conversation between me and Moriyama only that you have no business listening to. If you wish to continue to speak with her, you’ll have to do it on your own time. The bell has rung, so you all need to be off to lunch. I will do my best to have her out before the next bell rings.”   
  


The teens hesitated momentarily, but upon seeing Yukio’s glare they scrambled to leave the room with a few of them, including Bon glancing at Shiemi over their shoulders before turning and shutting the door behind them.   
  


“Thank you, Yuki.” Shiemi smiled gratefully once they were alone.   
  


Yukio sighed, turning to face her. “Sorry about that....” he mumbled. “You were....asking me about Rin, right?”   
  


“Ah, yes! How is he by the way? Considering...what happened and all....” she trailed off.   
  


“Probably finding a way to cause trouble at home right now as we speak,” Yukio mused. “But as far as the situation at hand goes, he happens to be taking it pretty hard. He...” 

Yukio hesitated, then continued. “He thinks you all hate him to be honest with you.”   
  


Shiemi gasped sadly, then shook her head. “I could _never_ hate him! Poor Rin...” 

She looked pleadingly at the younger Okumura brother. “Like I asked earlier...do you think....maybe I could see him soon?”   
  


Yukio pushed his glasses up on his nose, smiling almost apologetically at the girl. “If it were up to me, I’d let you in the next week or so after I’m sure he’s stable. But unfortunately it’s the order who makes the calls on that so...I really can’t do much. I’m sorry.”   
  


“ _But_ ,” he quickly added at seeing Shiemi’s crestfallen expression. “If you’d like I could bring it up to the Council and keep you updated on what they tell me.” He offered.   
  


Shiemi’s eyes lit up. “Thank you so much, Yuki! That would be great! Ahm, I’ll see you on Monday? Take good care of Rin for me!”   
  


Yukio’s smile wavered slightly. “Sure...I will.”   
  


Shiemi threw him one last grin as she grabbed her bag before running out the door.   
  


The remaining teen in the room stood there for a minute, before his expression contorted into one of pained fury, and he buried his face into his hands fingers reaching up to clench at his hair, knocking his glasses up slightly in the process.   
  


“Damn...” 

* * *

‘Rin? Where are you going?’   
  


Said teen jumped slightly before looking over his shoulder at his familiar as he pulled the rest of his hoodie down.   
  


“Out.” He replied curtly.   
  


‘Aren’t you supposed to stay here, though?’ Kuro asked, cocking his head to the side.   
  


Rin shrugged carelessly. “I _am_ , but it’s cramped. I need some air.”   
  


‘Won’t Yukio find out?’   
  


“Nah, that four-eyed jackass doesn’t get back ‘til real late. It’s cool.”   
  


Kuro stood, smiling. ‘In that case, can I come?’   
  


Rin smiled apologetically, petting Kuro on the head as he knelt to his level. “Sorry Kuro, not this time.”   
  


‘Aweee, but Rin! You _always_ let me come with you!’ Kuro frowned up at his master.   
  


“I know, but...I just need to be alone this time, alright?”   
  


Something in Rin’s expression caught Kuro’s attention. His master looked sad, lost...and a little anxious?   
  


Kuro didn’t like it. Not one bit.   
  


‘Rin?’ Kuro asked as he head-bumped the teen’s hand lightly. ‘Are you okay?’   
  


The demon boy threw him a fake smile. “Heh. ‘Course. I’m fine, Kuro.” He lied through his teeth.   
  


Kuro didn’t believe him at all, but he knew better than to push his master so he just silently nodded.   
  


Rin was profusely grateful and throwing him another fake grin, he petted the familiar a final time. “Next time, okay? I promise.”   
  


‘Okay...you better keep it!’   
  


“I will, I will.” Rin chuckled hollowly on his way out before shutting the door behind him.   
  


********#####********

Rin pulled his hood up, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he wandered the streets.   
  


They were pretty vacant for the most part, with some being in school and others in work or somewhere else besides the mentioned two.   
  


Rin bit down on his lip as he kicked at a stray can.   
  


His thoughts wandered to his brother.   
  


His little brother who was so much smarter than him.   
  


His little brother who was way more sensible than him.   
  


His little brother who insisted on playing hero all the time and always managed to get them out of the toughest situations.   
  


His little brother who refused to depend on him due to his hatred of losing.   
  


His little brother who was more than likely better than him in every way.   
  


Every.   
  


Damn.   
  


Way.   
  


Rin wasn’t stupid.   
  


Or at least not as stupid as he let on.   
  


He knew he had put his brother in a difficult situation.   
  


In fact he knew he was putting everyone in a rough spot to begin with.   
  


But he couldn’t help it.   
  


At that moment, all that mattered to him was getting Shiemi free.   
  


And while he _had_ managed to do that, he only made the situation worse for everyone.   
  


Now his brother and friends were paying the price.   
  


Fuck his life.   
  


Lost in his anger-filled thoughts, he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going and bumped into someone, causing his hood to fall down in the process.   
  


“S—Sorry!” he stammered hastily, already moving his hands to pull his hood back up.   
  


Before his fingers could even grasp at his hood properly, he was slammed roughly into a wall by the supposed person he ran into.   
  


“Watch where you’re fuckin’ going, kid!”   
  


From the sound—and the strength—Rin could tell it was a man.   
  


Glaring at him, he snapped back, “What the hell, dude!? I said I was sorry!” He began to struggle in the grip. “Lemme go!”   
  


The man who’s expression was the same fiery scowl, suddenly shifted into a smirk.   
  


“Hey I know you,” he drawled out slowly. “You’re that freakshow that everyone’s been talkin’ ‘bout.”   
  


“I am _not_ a freakshow,” Rin growled fiercely.   
  


The latter ignored him, which irked Rin as he called to his supposed friends.   
  


“Oi, you guys! Check this lil’ shit out!”   
  


Three other men equally as large as he was came bounding over, smirks plastered across their faces.   
  


They exchanged words that Rin didn’t bother listening to as the man got way too close, their noses almost touching.   
  


“I wonder....” he purred as he slid his hand under Rin’s shirt, beginning to run it down his thigh.   
  


Rin’s ears burned in humiliation and fury.   
  


“You sick fuck!” He yelled as he finally managed to get an arm free, and punched the man in the nose with such a heavy blow that the man stumbled back with a curse as he clutched at his nose, letting go of the teen in the process.   
  


He let go of his nose momentarily, watching droplets of blood emitting from his nose fall onto his palms.   
  


The man then growled to the others, “Go beat that little turd into a fucking pulp! _Now_!”   
  


Rin reached up to his back as the men charged at him, only to realise with slight panic that his sword was back at his and Yukio’s dorm.   
  


He muttered a swear as he slid out of the way and slammed one of the men into the brick wall behind him with no mercy.   
  


Whatever.   
  


He could still fight.   
  


Rin continued to punch and kick the men, breaking several body parts on each of them and feeling quite proud of himself.   
  


That was until one of them got the upper hand.   
  


He charged at Rin from behind and yanked at his arm, turning it at an unnatural angle and twisting it causing it to be wrenched out of it’s socket and Rin let out an agonising scream.   
  


The man then grabbed him in a headlock and threw him over his own shoulder to the ground.   
  


Rin choked as the man grasped at his throat with a sinister grin plastered across his face.   
  


“There they are!” A voice called out. “They’re over there, officer!”   
  


“Shit!” The leader muttered before bending down and yanking Rin’s head up by his fringe and hissing at him, “This isn’t over you little brat, you hear me??”   
  


Rin responded by merely spatting saliva at his face with a fierce glower.   
  


The man backed up and wiped at his face with his sleeve in disgust before delivering a hard kick to his abdomen and Rin let out a groan of agony.   
  


He then grabbed his friends and glared at Rin one more time over his shoulder before running off.   
  


Rin coughed as he sat up. He accidentally put pressure on his injured arm and hissed in pain as he quickly let up and gripped at it with his other.   
  


“You okay there, kid?”   
  


Said teen looked up to find a man standing beside him.   
  


It was dark, but Rin could see that he was wearing a black shirt with an unzipped grey hoodie, some jeans and red sneakers.   
  


Rin could also see that he had black hair and green eyes, some freckles and only looked four to five years older than Rin at most.   
  


“R’you an officer?” Rin asked, blinking.   
  


The man chuckled, shaking his head. “Naw, I just said that to scare ‘em off. Not that easy with all bastards like that, though. You just happened to be lucky enough to get the stupid ones.”   
  


He offered a friendly smile. “Name’s Suzuki Hotaru. Yours?”   
  


“I’m...Rin.” Rin riposted after a minute’s hesitation. “Rin Okumura.”   
  


“Nice to meet ya. Any injuries in particular that really hurt?”   
  


“Well...my arm. Feels like I can’t move it.”   
  


Hotaru knelt and examined the body part that Rin told him, then smiled.   
  


“Awe, no biggie. It’s just dislocated. I can fix it for you if ya want.”   
  


Rin raised a brow. “Really?”   
  


“Yeah.” Hotaru hummed, pursing his lips. “It’s gonna hurt though. But it shouldn’t hurt _too_ much.”   
  


Rin inwardly cringed. Shouldn’t hurt _too_ much? How comforting.   
  


“Uhh...okay, I guess? Let’s just get it over with. But wait why are you helping me? We don’t even know each other.”   
  


Hotaru shrugged. “You don’t have to know someone to help ‘em out. And besides, those bastards were askin’ for it.”

Well Rin couldn’t argue with something as simple yet logical as that.   
  


“You ready?” Hotaru asked.   
  


Rin nodded, swallowing thickly.   
  


“Alright then. You’re gonna have to lie down.”   
  


The teen did as he was told, laying down on his back.   
  


Hotaru stood beside him at the side of his injured shoulder. He grabbed Rin’s wrist with both of his hands, and then proceeded to keep his arm straight and level with the rest of his body, Rin’s forearm and and hand facing downward.   
  


Rin chewed his lip.   
  


No pain yet.   
  


Hotaru gradually moved Rin’s arm toward his head, making a small up and down movement.   
  


He continued this until the arm was at the height of Rin’s shoulder and at a 90-degree angle with his body. Hotaru rotated the arm in place.   
  


Hotaru finished by moving the teen’s arm closer to his head at an 120 degree angle while roating it.   
  


Rin let out a small whimper of pain as he felt something pop.   
  


The man sat back on his heels, smiling slightly tiredly. “Better?”   
  


Rin tried moving his arm, and was relieved to find that he actually _could_. It was a little sore, but still didn’t hurt nearly as bad as before.   
  


“Y—Yeah, man. Thanks.” He grinned gratefully at the latter. “It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.”   
  


Hotaru returned the grin. “That’s great. Glad I could help. Oh, you’d probably need this....” 

He turned to dig into the bag slung around his shoulders that Rin had failed to notice before.   
  


Hotaru pulled out a cloth, then carefully grabbed Rin’s arm and pressed it close to his chest as he wrapped and tied the cloth around it in a sling.   
  


“To suport it and stuff.” He explained. “I, uh, I know all this because I’m taking medical as a major in University. So I can be a doctor one day. Speaking of which, do you know anyone who can help you further with this?”   
  


“My brother.” Rin replied. “He studies medical too so...he’ll know what to do.”   
  


“Wow, okay. Must be pretty cool to have a brother with all kinds of medical knowledge.”   
  


“Yeah...” Rin mumbled distantly.   
  


“Hey,” Hotaru said, grabbing his attention. “Wanna drop by somewhere with me real quick?”   
  


“Uh...” Rin shrugged. “Sure.”   
  


Yukio wouldn’t be home for another hour or so. He’d be fine.   
  


Hotaru led him to a small store where he told him to wait outside and Rin obeyed.   
  


A minute later he reappeared with a small carton of beers, and opening the package he handed one to Rin.   
  


“Ah...” Rin mumbled awkwardly. “Not to sound super lame or somethin’, but y’know I’m underage.”   
  


Hotaru grinned at him. “Won’t tell if you don’t.”   
  


Rin cheekily returned it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aghhhh finally! Chapter down!!!
> 
> I had to do some research for the shoulder dislocation, and it was fun tbh. Now I know what to do if if happens to a friend (knowing me I’d make it worse tho XD) and hopefully you guys do too, sorry if it’s not exact even with research I’m not highly educated lol. 
> 
> Hotaru’s good, promise he won’t turn bad or anything. Plus I gave him his name ‘cause I’ve been listening to song “Hotaru” past few days on and off and now it’s stuck in my head. Such a beautiful yet depressing song... 
> 
> Not sure how long I’ll keep him around for, but...yeah there he is! 
> 
> Reviews are greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Chow!


	3. Hypocrisy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You look like shit.” Yukio stated bluntly. “What happened to you?”

Contrary to Rin’s beliefs, Yukio never liked lying to his brother.   
  


Or keep secrets from him.   
  


He had first been forced to do so at a young age.   
  


That was why they had first began to drift apart at a young age.   
  


Plus he didn’t like Rin always coming to his rescue.   
  


He understood that it was his role as a big brother, but Rin’s overprotectiveness annoyed him.   
  


Always protecting him.   
  


Always saving him.   
  


Always the winner.   
  


And Yukio the loser.   
  


Yukio could take care of himself.   
  


Yukio had proven that repeatedly when he was given missions growing up.   
  


He had been terrified to start off with, but after the first two years he had grown used to it.   
  


And he had done it all without Rin protecting him.   
  


Yukio had to admit, he felt pretty proud of himself.   
  


Now Rin would know what it felt like to lose.   
  


Over and over.   
  


While Yukio convinced himself that it was Rin he hated, he knew deep down that wasn’t the case.   
  


He hated _himself_ more than anything.   
  


And he was willing to do pretty much anything to change from weak to strong.   
  


Yukio sighed as he rested his head against the door of his and Rin’s building.   
  


He inhaled a deep breath before raising his head and pushing the door open, walking inside.   
  


Yukio checked his watch.   
  


11:00 p.m.   
  


He didn’t expect Rin to still be up.   
  


The older of the twins knew that Yukio’s missions pretty much always lasted long into the night unless called off early due to an emergency or some other reason.   
  


Yukio jumped at the abrupt sound of a loud clash coming from the kitchen.   
  


His hand flew to one of his guns on his belt instinctively, inching closer.   
  


He froze in surprise at hearing a familiar voice exclaim a curse, followed by a small giggle.   
  


The grip on his gun loosened.   
  


“Rin?” He called.   
  


There was no answer, but there were more giggles.   
  


Yukio frowned deeply, letting go of his gun as he inched closer.   
  


“Rin?” He said again as he turned the corner.   
  


And gaped.   
  


The kitchen was a complete mess; the countertop was covered in puddles of flour, oil, cinnamon etc. as well as on the floor and other bags and boxes on the floor, in addition both of the stovetops being on and completely unattended with pots full of some sort of batter-like substance boiling over and onto the ground.   
  


“ _Rin_!”   
  


His twin himself who was seemingly standing at the counter and laughing at a wall finally noticed his prescence and watched him with a grin as the younger rushed over to the stovetops, turning both of them off and hastily threw the pots into the sink.   
  


Yukio had no idea how the building hadn’t burnt down before he got there.   
  


Most likely because he had gotten there just in time.   
  


“Oh, hey Yukio” Rin greeted with a giggle. “‘Sup~?”   
  


Yukio turned to send a death glare Rin’s way, who seemed totally unaffected.   
  


“What are you _doing_!?” Yukio demanded furiously. “And why are you doing it so late?!”   
  


Rin shrugged nonchalantly. “Cooking. Got bored.”   
  


“You nearly burned the whole place down!”   
  


“Like I said, got bored.”   
  


Yukio growled, clenching his fists.   
  


He was going to _throttle_ his brother.   
  


The four-eyed teen paused at seeing Rin’s state.   
  


He noticed his black eye and bruised face, the caked blood around his nostrils, his split lip and other bloody bruises on his cheeks as well as his arm in an sling.   
  


“You look like shit.” He stated bluntly. “What _happened_ to you?”   
  


“Nice to see you too, lil’ bro.” Rin riposted sarcastically with an eyeroll.   
  


“I’m serious.”   
  


“So am I.”

” _Rin_.”   
  


Said teen sighed. “It’s not that big a’ deal. It’s just from a little street fight.”   
  


“A street fight?” Yukio repeated with wide, infuriated eyes. “You went _out_!?”   
  


Yukio walked over and grabbed Rin’s collar, yanking him so close that their noses bumped. “Do you have any idea of what would happen if Sir Pheles found out!? Are you _that_ much of an idiot?!” He seethed, practically shaking with anger.   
  


Rin didn’t reply, glaring back at him mutely.   
  


The taller took note of how unfocused Rin’s gaze was. He connected it with Rin’s giggling and dilated pupils as well as other previous behaviors and eyes widening, he let go and stepped back.   
  


Yukio straightened his glasses, nose crinkling. “Are you.... _drunk_?” He questioned in a half-surprised, half-annoyed tone.   
  


Rin scowled. “S’what if I’m?” He slurred.   
  


“Damn it, Rin!” Yukio snapped. “Why did you go out? Why’d you pick a fight and how’d you even get your hands on alcohol?”   
  


“What’s with all the questions?”   
  


“ _Because_ , Rin, I don’t like to be kept in the dark.”   
  


Rin let out a humorless laugh, “You mean like how you kept _me_ in the dark our whole lives?”

Yukio scoffed. “That was _entirely_ different!”   
  


“Bullshit!” Rin snarled in return. “All you’ve done is kept secrets and lied to me since we were kids!”   
  


“I had a _good_ reason for that, Rin!”

”Doubt it. I don’t wanna hear any more of your hypocrisy. I’m off to bed.”   
  


“I had no ch—“

”Save it.” Rin cut him off as he turned the corner and disappeared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! And 2 chapters are down! 
> 
> I just imagine Rin doing that when drunk...I’m half Rin and half Yukio lol..
> 
> Ahh so without saying any spoilers, did you guys read most recent volume of Manga? It legit had me so emotional...especially at end. 
> 
> the “my emotions” vine is best way to describe how I feel about it XD 
> 
> I just want babies to be happy...I say as I make their relationship strained as hell lol. But not worse than how it is in manga rn. 
> 
> But now im blabbing sorry lol. Feel free to add in review on how you feel about their relationship and how it’ll end up if u want. Reviews in general are always appreciated! 
> 
> Imma go pass out now in slumberland 👌😊😴
> 
> Lotsa Love 💞💞🥰,  
> Sapphire


	4. I’m nothing, I’m always nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Back to work?” Rin muttered, trying to keep the annoyance out of his tone. 
> 
> “No.” Yukio replied, taking his glasses off and wiped at them some before placing them back on. “Well, not exactly.” 
> 
> “Not exactly? What does that mean?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People have been ordering, so here’s your delivery :3
> 
> It literally took me weeks to write this bc other stuff has kept me busy...but tonight I was watching the series nonstop on my Netflix so it gave me the motivation to push it and finish up so...enjoy this long chapter!

Rin coughed and gagged, gasping and trembling as the contents left his stomach.   
  


He was beginning to _strongly_ regret drinking that beer the other night.   
  


Hotaru was a nice guy and all, but why the hell hadn’t he told him that this would happen the next morning!?

He really wished that he had.   
  


If Hotaru wasn’t as kind as he was, Rin would definitely kick his ass.   
  


Rin’s body lurched as more vomit escaped his lips, and he coughed a little more.   
  


Kuro sat on top of the sink with a frown, gazing worriedly at his master.   
  


The small cat jumped as he heard the door handle jingle, turn and open but Rin already knew who it was.   
  


“How’s that hangover treating you?” Yukio regarded him coldly, but if Rin wasn’t mistaken it held the slighest bit of concern.   
  


...Nah. He couldn’t be _that_ lucky.   
  


“Ugh...I feel _horrible_...” Rin panted, dry-heaving.   
  


He heard that dry-heaving was one of the worst feelings, but he never really took it seriously up until now.   
  


Turns out, it truly _was_ one of the worst feelings.   
  


“Well, that’s what you get Rin. You should have been smarter than to drink underage. But...you _never_ use your head so...” he trailed off.   
  


Rin flipped his younger twin off as he spat saliva and vomit into the toilet. “Ass _hole_...” he grunted out.   
  


Yukio’s brows furrowed together as he stepped closer. “How _much_ did you even drink?”   
  


“Two, maybe three at most...” Rin muttered exhaustedly as he reached up and flushed the toilet.   
  


His stomach was finally beginning to settle, and he hoped that it would stay that way for a while.   
  


The teen rested his head on the toilet seat and closed his eyes. “‘M dying, Yukio...” he rasped.   
  


The latter sighed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, Rin. I know it hurts but you only had two or three so you don’t have alcohol poisoning.”   
  


Rin merely spit up some in the toilet bowl and groaned.   
  


Yukio stood from his leaning position against the sink.   
  


“I’ll be back.” He said, hesitating but lightly patted Rin’s back as the older threw up a little more before leaving the room.   
  


Five minutes later, the younger returned with a water bottle in his hands to see Rin with his head rested on the toilet once again.   
  


The younger gave his brother’s leg a light kick.   
  


The latter cracked open an eye tiredly.   
  


He knelt to Rin’s level and held out the bottle, “You should drink water. It’s not good to get dehydrated when you have a hangover.”   
  


Rin pushed it away weakly, “I’ll just throw it up..” he moaned.   
  


“Maybe, but I assure you that getting dehydrated will only make your hangover worse so don’t you think taking that chance is worth it?”   
  


Rin groaned in frustration.   
  


He hated it when Yukio was right.   
  


Where did his little brother learn to be so damn convincing?   
  


“Fine” he croaked, grabbing the water from his brother’s hand.   
  


He took slow, small sips because he knew if he gulped it all in one go then he would throw it back up _for sure._  
  


Once he was done, he went to put his head back down but Yukio grabbed his arm.

”You should try to stand,” he said, looking the older teen over. “I need to...clean you up, you look horrible.”   
  


“Thanks.” Rin mumbled sarcastically, but nevertheless he shakily got to his feet a little dizzily at first, his brother grabbing his arm when he almost fell.   
  


“What did you do to make someone get into a fight with you?” Yukio questioned as he dabbed Neosporin on Rin’s cheek, causing the older to let out a hiss.   
  


He’s had worse injuries than this, and yet he hisses at one so little as a cut.   
  


He felt _so_ humiliated.   
  


“I—I didn’t do _anything_ , you four-eyed moron!” Rin protested, flinching.   
  


“Then _why_ would they want to fight with you??”   
  


“You always take the other guy’s side! I thought you were on mine!” Rin whined. “You’re my _little brother_ , you’re supposed to be on _my_ side, you jerk!!”  
  


“Okay one, I can guarantee you’re only an hour or so older than me _at most_ we’re _twins_ for God’s sake so age gap barely matters and I _am_ on your side Rin, I just—“ Yukio began to push back, but stopped at seeing how upset Rin looked.   
  


Eyebrows raising from their narrowed position, he sighed.   
  


“Alright,” he said as he pulled a bandage out of the first aid and carefully smoothed it down on his older brother’s cheek. “What did _they_ do?”   
  


“It was so stupid,” Rin muttered irritably. “I was just minding my own business, taking a walk—“ 

“ _Breaking the rules_ —“

”Yes yes, whatever. Then I accidentally bumped into someone. I apologized to the guy and tried to go on with my night, but the son of a bitch fucking shoved me against the wall! Then outta nowhere these shithead friends of his showed up and then he—“ 

Rin abruptly cut himself off, cheeks heating in embarrassment.   
  


“And _then_?” Yukio urged, wiping the dried blood from Rin’s other cheekbone.

”He, uhh—“ Rin coughed a little bit. “He tried to.... _do stuff_ to me.”   
  


Out of all things, this seemed to catch Yukio’s attention and he stopped pressing the bandage down to look at Rin with the wide eyes.   
  


“He...tried to sexually assault you?” The youngest asked, surprised.

”Yeah,” Rin muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.   
  


Yukio stared for a minute, before going back to smoothing the bandage down on Rin’s cheek.   
  


“I see,” he uttered, “Did you report them?”   
  


“Nah, I already have enough trouble with them as it is. Don’t wanna make any more. And I mean if they were to come back, I’d be able to take their asses a second time.”   
  


“Sure. So how did that end?”   
  


“Well,” Rin chuckled a little sheepishly. “They sort of got an advantage...bastards fucking dislocated my arm. Then this guy claiming to be an officer showed up, and they left. He wasn’t really an officer, he was a college kid.”   
  


He smirked at Yukio, “He actually reminded me a lot of you, all nerdy and smart looking but he didn’t have a ego big as hell like you. He was laid back, unlike you who has a stick shoved so far up your a—“

Rin suddenly whined in pain, cutting himself off as Yukio gave a _hard_ kick to his shin.   
  


“Ouch! That hurt, you piece of shit!” Rin growled irritably.   
  


“Just finish the damn story, Rin.” Yukio muttered impatiently.   
  


Rin rolled his eyes. “Anyway, his name is Hotaru and he’s a really chill guy. He got my arm back into place...he studies medical like you do. He was also...the one...who gave me the...heh...” 

Rin trailed off sheepishly with a sweat drop as Yukio glared at him.   
  


“H—He said you should probably look at it!” Rin squeaked, desperate to change the subject.

Yukio’s glower lifted. “Alright.”   
  


The younger twin finished patching up Rin’s other injuries before lifting Rin’s arm out of the sling with a gentle grip.

He applied pressure to it. “Does that hurt?”   
  


“No.”   
  


Yukio rolled up Rin’s sleeve, eyes searching.   
  


He paused.   
  


The younger twin looked at his brother who had his gaze averted at the window, back down at the cuts, to his brother and then the cuts once again.   
  


“You....didn’t say that it was a knife fight.” Yukio uttered, feeling uneasy.   
  


“What?” Rin looked at him, perplexed before he followed his gaze.   
  


His stomach dropped.

_Fuck_. His cuts. He hadn’t gotten around to covering them up. How had he been so stupid?!   
  


Rin did his best to play it off, and laughed. “Oh yeah, almost forgot about that. Yeah one of his bastard fiends jumped on me with one of them, and when I tried to get it away from him he cut me with it. No big deal, haha.”   
  


Yukio stared at him like he had three heads.   
  


The younger was smart, so they both knew he wasn’t buying the bullshit.   
  


His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t push it.   
  


“Whatever you say.” He riposted, looking further up the arm and Rin mentally breathed out in relief.   
  


Yukio spotted a large bruise where the dislocation most likely was, and touched it causing Rin to hiss.   
  


“Sorry.” Yukio apologized absentmindedly, then continued. “Looks like your friend did most of the work, so for the healing process you should ice it a few times a day so it can go by as smoothly as possible. It’ll make the bruise eventually go away too. Painkillers will help reduce the agony...I think we’re out of those so I’ll have to pick them up.”   
  


He eyed Rin’s cuts. “I should get _those_ wrapped up, too.”   
  


Rin watched as Yukio pulled gauze out and gripped the lower part of his arm.   
  


The older was lost in his thoughts and suddenly the events of last night when he was drunk came flooding back to him, as well as what he said and he mentally facepalmed guiltily.   
  


He was such an _asshole_.   
  


“Yukio?” Rin mouthed his younger twin’s name a little apprehensively.   
  


“What?” The latter answered, but it lacked bite. It just sounded distracted as he carefully wrapped the gauze.

”Look, man...I’m sorry ‘bout what I said last night. I shouldn’t have. I know that you just kept things from me to protect me.”   
  


Yukio seemed to contemplate his response before answering. “I  _wanted_ to tell you things, but Dad strongly advised against it. And considering what we dealt with out there every day, honestly I couldn’t blame him. What he did, and what he had me do  was strictly for your protection. Not just yours though,  _all_ of ours.”

”I know that story’s saved for when I become an Exorcist...but...” Rin muttered, clenching at his jeans as Yukio sat up straight once he finished and gazed at him. “Can’t you tell me at least a little bit of what happened when you were beside the old man? Please?”    
  


Yukio exhaled heavily through his nostrils, pausing before muttering. “I know that you idolize the idea of being able to have fought by his side, but most days Rin we barely made it out alive. Or at least we were _lucky_ to, so I can guarantee that it had it’s downfalls. Sometimes once in a blue moon, the missions didn’t even go as successfully as we wanted them to.”   
  


A crestfallen expression plastered itself across his face. “D’you mean...that people...” he trailed off.    
  


“Yes.” Yukio admitted grimly. “You can’t save everyone, Rin. That’s just how life goes. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that someone’s past saving and let them go.”   
  


“But Yukio!” Rin protested, glaring. “If you try hard enough, there could still be a sliver of a chance that you can save them!!”    
  


“It’s not really a matter of trying, it’s a matter of if you’re quick enough. And sadly, sometimes we weren’t. All I’m saying is, don’t get your hopes up too high otherwise they’ll be crushed the minute something goes wrong.”   
  


Rin opened his mouth, but was cut off by the sound of Yukio’s watch alarm going off.   
  


He watched as his little brother turned it off with a small swear and slightly apprehensive expression.   
  


“Back to work?” Rin muttered, trying to keep the annoyance out of his tone.   
  


“No.” Yukio replied, taking his glasses off and wiped at them some before placing them back on. “Well, not exactly.”    
  


“Not exactly? What does that mean?”

”It means that Shiemi asked about you.”   
  


“Really?” Rin asked, eyes lighting up the slightest but considering what had gone down in the past few days he didn’t have it in him to get too excited. “She did? What did she have to say?”   
  


“She asked me how you were doing, and I was honest with my response.” Yukio riposted, gazing at his older brother. “I should probably mention before I go any further...I’m not sure how the others feel, but Shiemi alone doesn’t hate you. She told me herself.”   
  


“She did?” Rin repeated like a broken record, and he actually dared a little smile as his tail swooshed in a way it did when he was happy.   
  


“Yeah. She wants to see you. The rest overheard this...and they didn’t like it very much.”   
  


“Of course.” Rin muttered, looking heartbroken all over again. “Why would they?”   
  


Really looking at the latter, Yukio couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He was an idiot, yes and his actions could have gotten him killed but that didn’t mean that he deserved to be _sad_.   
  


Despite how Yukio was used to seeing heartbreak on his brother’s face considering how Rin was treated throughout life, just because he had grown accustomed to it didn’t mean he _liked_ to see his brother so hurt. He never did, and he never could.   
  


“They just need time, Rin.” He found himself uttering without thinking. “You need to be patient. They’ll come around eventually. And this time will help them adjust and get over the events that took place.”    
  


“Guess you’re right.” Rin mumbled. “Anyway, is she allowed to see me or what?”    
  


“That’s what I’m about to find out.” Yukio uttered with a glance at his watch. “I don’t have the right nor the power to make that call on my own, and if I attempted to I’d be in grave trouble. I have to meet up with the council in twenty five minutes to discuss, so I should be off now. I’ll pick up medicine before I come back.”   
  


“Nerdy lil’ shit, never a minute late.” Rin snickered teasingly, and Yukio rolled his eyes as he turned and walked towards the door.   
  


“Uhh, hey wait a sec!” He called out, and Yukio glanced over his shoulder with a questioning look as his hand met the doorknob.    
  


“You don’t have a mission tonight, right? Does that mean you’ll finally be home in time for dinner? I’ve...been thinkin’ bout making your favorite, y’know.”   
  


“Is that so?” Yukio said, then gave a half-hearted smile. “I’ll try. See you later.”   


* * *

Yukio let out a drained sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.   
  


The meeting hadn’t gone _exactly_ how he had wanted it to, but at least he had gotten _some_ gain out of it.   
  


At least he had gotten the council to _compromise_.   
  


It was a lot better than getting no from them.   
  


_“Bring us weakly reports of his levels and stability, then we will talk it over and contact you to let you know our answer.”_ Is what they all had said, and Mephisto agreed with them. 

It was as good as it was going to get, so he was satisfied.   
  


He was just so tired.   
  


He pulled at his tie, loosening it.   
  


He was surprised it didn’t strangle him more than his own thoughts, considering how he always had it so tight.   
  


“There ya are, chicken!”   
  


Yukio looked up, startled and he straightened from his leaning position against the tree as Shura approached him.   
  


“Hey, Shura.” He uttered as the woman stood in front of him. “Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.”   
  


“It’s no sweat. I just got done with some work, so you got lucky. Anyway, why isn’t that imbecile of a brother ya got with ya?”   
  


Yukio cocked his head to the side. “You haven’t heard from Mephisto?”   
  


“Nah.” Shura sighed, seeming annoyed. “I’ve been outta town on missions investigating things that I’m not allowed to discuss. And that dumbass never tells me anything.”   
  


She frowned deeply. “Why? Did something happen?”

It was Yukio’s turn to sigh. “Yeah,” he admitted. “We were on a mission, and he did something.... _really_ stupid.”   
  


“No surprise there. What did he do?”   
  


“He was reckless, and he used his blue flames. He was only trying to help, but it put himself and the entire team in danger. He’s suspended for two months, and he’s not allowed in public. No use for that though, he went out the other night, got into a street fight _and_ drunk.”   
  


“Damn!” Shura chuckled, amused. “Sounds like yer bro’s on a roll!”   
  


“Tell me about it.” Yukio groaned.   
  


“Hey, while we’re out how about we grab some food and head back here. There’s a shop down the street. You can tell me more.”   
  


“I’m guessing I have to pay?” Yukio asked, already reaching for his wallet but Shura waved him off.   
  


“Nah, save yer cash. I’ll cover it this time.”   
  


“But?” Yukio pushed as they began their walk.   
  


“No buts.”   
  


......... 

.......

”...But you’re definitely paying for it next time.”   
  


“I knew it.”   
  


Shura let out a cackle.

Once they entered the shop and Shura got their snacks, they made their way back over to the grass where they first met up.   
  


“So, what’re ya gonna do, kid?” Shura asked as she popped a chip in her mouth.   
  


“I don’t know.” Yukio admitted. “I met up with the council today. A classmate of Rin’s wants to see him. They told me that if they like the reports I give them about his stability for the next few weeks then they’ll think it over and possibly agree to it.”   
  


“Well that’s a win, ain’t it? Those bastards barely compromise to _anything_.”   
  


“Yes.” Yukio muttered. “There’s...something else, though. Something that’s been bugging me.”  
  


“What’s that?” Shura questioned, unscrewing the cap to her soda bottle and taking a big gulp.   
  


“It’s just...” Yukio paused, as if deciding how to explain it. “When I saw his arm, there were these...cuts on it.”

“Which is usually the aftermath of a street fight,” Shura commented nonchalantly. “Did yer brother say anything about it involving knives? That usually happens during a knife fight, y’know.” 

“Yeah, but he didn’t mention it until I saw them. And he didn’t seem confident in his explanation. I grew up with Rin, so I know him better than anyone else. I  know my brother. He would’ve mentioned it at the very beginning.” 

“Sooo, what are you saying?” The woman frowned, cocking her head to the side. “You can’t seriously think....I mean, I know this whole thing must have that dumbass kid down, but do you really think he’d have it in him to _do it do himself_?”   
  


Yukio flinched, but shook his head. “I don’t know _what_ I think,” he confessed. “All I know is that I don’t like it.”   
  


“Mmm.” Shura hummed, playing with the bottle cap. “Yer....Yer _actually worried_ about him, aren’t cha?”   
  


“I—I never said that.”   
  


“Ohhhh come on, you don’t have to,” Shura teased, smirking. “It’s written all over yer face, ya four-eyed chicken.”   
  


“Whatever,” Yukio muttered, embarrassed and glaring down at his bag of pretzels, cheeks heating slightly as he pulled it open.   
  


“Ya know, I think I can still train yer brother.” Shura offered. “Despite his punishment.”   
  


Yukio looked perplexed. “Won’t that get us in trouble? _You_ in trouble?”   
  


“Nah, yer guy’s dorm is solitary enough. Nobody will catch us, and I’ll be sure to make sure it’s as secrective as it can be. And there are some spots on Campus I can sneak him into as well. He sounds like he really needs it too, considering the situation.”   
  


“No lie there. Alright, just do me a favor and be sure to keep an eye on him.”   
  


“Why d’you say that?” Shura uttered. “I’m not a babysitter, y’know.”   
  


“Yeah.” Yukio muttered. “But I just don’t have a good feeling.”   
  


“If you say so. But just because I’m babysitting that doesn’t mean I’m gonna go easy on the lil’ twerp.”   
  


“No, you don’t have to go easy at all. Just...make sure he doesn’t act or do anything more stupid that usual.”   
  


Shura grinned smugly. “Ya got yerself a deal.”   
  


Yukio nodded, lifting the water bottle to his lips and taking a long swig as he gazed out at the grass. 


	5. ANNOUNCEMENT! (PLEASE READ)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note to the readers

I want to start off with the fact that I am absolutely flattered at how many people are loving this story.   
  


(No, that statement does not mean I’m cancelling it.) 

However, life has happened and more important things require my attention. I must have those things as number one on my list of obligations, and put my writing of this story on the backburner temporarily.   
  


  
I also plan on taking this time off to focus on setting up and writing other stories in honor of the new year.   
  


I am not going to say exactly when this break will end, but I can gurantee it won’t stretch beyond shortly after the beginning of 2021.   
  


Once I return, a schedule will be set up and published either as a part 2 of this announcement or along with a new chapter or (s), whichever I feel like doing at the time, so that I am more organized and can be more sure to really put my spirit into the chapters that I publish.   
  


Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!!   
  


Much Love, 

💓Kiki Kat 

Written; Dec 14, 2020

**Author's Note:**

> Ah....I literally have no excuse I just wanted to write depressed Rin. Will continue if I get positive feedback! Thx for reading!! Reviews are greatly appreciated!!


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